The culmination of laborious scribing

Here is THE list of quotes from a totally unknown source. It's *chh!* OP! *ss...*



"I told my doctor i broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

"Who is John Galt?"

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth."

"My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August." -Ronnie Shakes

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." - Walter Bagehot

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." -Einstein

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." - Minna Thomas Antrim

"Go, and never darken my towels again." - Groucho Max

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact."

"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down." -Rob

"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."

"It's fun to charter an accountant, and sail the wide accountancy..."

"No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."

"If you believe everything thing you read, better not read."

"It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do."

"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite."

"Those who believe in telekenetics, please raise my hand."

"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century."

"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing took control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy." -- Frank Sinatra

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room." -- Woody Allen

"Kleptomaniac: A person who helps himself because he can't help himself."

"A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge."

"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation."

"Just because nobody complains doesn't mean that all parachutes are perfect."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" -- Charlie McCarthy

"The Axiom of Choice is obviously true, the well-ordering principle obviously false, and who can tell about Zorn's lemma?" -- Jerry Bona

" 'I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. ' -- An English professor, Ohio University, also probably the fate of most of my essays"

"No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast."

"The trouble with having a open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things into it."

"Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"

"Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life."

"After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done."

"Does this rag smell like chlorofoam to you?"

"Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time."

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think"

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." -- Herman Wouk

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true." -- Robert Wilensky

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, generally employed only by small children and large nations."


Cheers!

P.S. "dammit... foiled"