On SCP-797

SCP-797. It's that red-looking thing. See http://ringmaster-sanctus.blogspot.com/2008/12/scp-797-hydrophobic-string.html. So today I present to you my experiments on SCP-797 as well as my experiences with it.

Since I am by no means a good writer of reports (see arr-ee), I will present the stuff I want to say all over the place, since it is a mere recollection of scattered thoughts.

So firstly, colour is important. To back up what I am going to say (actually to just set the background), I shall quote from an expert on the topic: "Each strand of SCP-797 has been either one of two colours, red or black. However, items woven of it have been observed to be black, green, red, brown, copper or gold, depending on the viewer." However, upon closer experimentation using a high-speed camera, the hair appears to be flashing between black and red at differing frequencies, depending on the situation, and sunlight (although not its constituents individually) appears to make the hydrophobic strings red for longer periods of time as compared to black. However, this extremely rapid changing of colour confuses the eye, and leaves the image open to the brain's interpretation. As a result, there have been people reported arguing over whether the same sample of SCP-797 looks red or black over the same period of time. This is suspected to be linked to an underlying psychological factor, which might lead us to uncover our evolutionary history.

"Such items are also extremely durable, withstanding temperatures upwards of 7000 C and pressures of 400 atmospheres." According to my experiments, hydrophobic string appears to melt at temperatures around 42314.15 degrees Kelvin, or close to 42041 degrees Celsius. However, this has been discovered to be an illusion, as the melting point is close to 424242 degrees Celsius. Why it might exhibit such strange behaviour is still an unknown, but a link has been proposed between that and humor on the part of the creator of the universe, although such a link is possibly inexistent.

Next, on to one of the most important properties of the hydrophobic strings: the hydrophobic-ness. Many many years ago, hopefully before you were born, Newton discovered forces that acted from a distance. Possibly he wasn't the first person, but I think he did discover that. So, whether this hydrophobic properties are able to act from a distance has remained a huge question, and as such I have created specific measurement tools to determine the strength of the repulsion across distance, and have discovered it appears to follow a trend of an inverse aeckerman's function when expressed in picometers. In short, the repulsion reduces quickly over extremely small distances, and only would succeed in keeping itself dry.

Of course, all these experiments are a special class of experiments known to many as thought experiments, and since they are created and carried out by me, their accuracy is suspect, and anybody who chooses to believe this does so at their own risk.