About retarded stuff as well as being read by too many readers

First, the retarded stuff.

I was like, walking back from my old school today, when I had a conversation with somebody that went something like this:

Wait... legends first.

Legend
--------
Me: Well... me speaking
**: comment tags
B: The other person in the conversation... Let's just stick at Ben shall we... I prefer not to be killed.

*The all important question!*
Me: How much does a potato cost?
B: Less than a toma(e)to *where (e) indicates pronunciation, important later*
Me: How much does a toma(h)to cost? *Bad pronounciation, really (*typo intended*) *
B: More than a potato.
*Persistence!*
Me: So how much does a potato cost?
B: More than a toma(h)to.
*???*
Me: So what's the difference between a toma(e)to and a toma(h)to?
B: Price.

That was the retarded part. It was supposed to serve as an analogy of sorts, or as an intro to the rest of my blogpost, but it's like... too long, and retarded, and hard to use as a model for the rest of my blogpost.

Ok, so I was informed of this disturbing news: that I initiated a style of blogpost called time-constrained posting, where one day I got so bored I decided to type 1000 word in like 20 minutes. This has unfortunately caught on (the HORROR), and I would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused to the world in general. I will also start to advocate for less people reading my blog, as well as taking every single idea with a mountain of salt (pinch of salt might not work :( ).

So what strategies should I employ to keep people of my pseudo-semi-demi-quasi-hidden blog? If you do have strong opinions about this subject, please e-mail any feedback to haveyouhadyourpenquintoday@gmail.com. Please also do remember to buy a kilogram of salt before sending the email. I hereby thank all you readers for your anti-cooperation. Now shoo and never come back again.