On charges (physics)

It's been a boring week (ever since Thursday morning more like, when I was banned from chess). But then again, it has been said that every dark cloud has a silver lining, but I somehow think that the silver lining must be really really thin in order to not weigh the cloud down. Seriously, I never thought silver could be harvested from clouds. Maybe that's where all the silverware is coming from. Hmm...

Now to the main topic, charges. Charges are weird things. I haven't read up yet, but I suspect 2 things. Either 1) They have some weird relationship with gravitational force that you (NO!) don't want to know about, or 2) They are caused by charges (Is this even any better?).

Anyway, the story has it that in the middle of each atom, there appears to be many flying things flying around the center pile of bigger stuff. Just imagine an Earth with many many little pallets flying around it like mad. Like.... at a mere fraction of the speed of light (wait thats not good, 1/100000000 happens to be a fraction as well), but then again, you get it, I think its in the same order. =).

The little flying pellets are called electrons, and have been reminding unfortunate students of much more common stuff like electricity and electrolyte as well as death by electrocution. But thats deviating again. The chunk in the middle is made up of many many bigger things that are nearly 2000 times bigger than electrons. Those things consist of neutrons and protons, and the main significant difference is that protons are positive, neutrons and neutral and electrons are negative. There have also been 2 things observed by a futuristic thought experiment involving weird things like potatoes and nailclippers mashed together with 42 different formulas and 1337 atmospheres of pressure. Ok that was plain random. Anyway, tada, 2 new parts of an atom has just been created out of my imagination. They are the multitron and divitron. As their names suggest, the multitron has a multiplicative charge and the divitron has a divisive charge. They mostly balance each other out and I don't really care if they defy all laws of conventional physics including the fact that leviating potatoes look really really weird even if achieved somehow. And now the confusion begins.

Phew! I just tided over a long paragraph.

Now for an even longer one.

So now, I am very sure that you have often heard many voices in your head saying "Like charges attract, unlike charges repel." Repeat that a billion times. Boomf. Watch that. I don't like head juice on my face. It tastes sour with an estimate pH of 4.2. Not dangerous, but corrosive nevertheless. Basically, listed out, it means that 5 things are ruled out: 1) Positive charges attract positive charges. 2) Negative charges attract negative charges. 3) Negative charges repel positive charges. 4) Positive charges repel negative charges. 5) Potatoes are flying. The first 4 will potentially blow your brains up with the complexity and the immense amount of logic needed to derive it from the first axiom as stated up there might be potentially hazardous, but hey! the last one is so obviously following from the axiom. Please note, as a clarification, that the fact potatoes are not flying does not mean they never will. Well, who knows? Next thing, Coulomb's Law, wassit? Anyway it states that the attraction between two charged object varies proportionately with the product of both charges divided by the square of the distance between them. Both axioms can be coupled together and summarised in a neat and short and sweet sentence as follows below:
Potatoes are an irreplacable part of life, just like Chess and 42.

More to come, but its getting really really late.